Truth

The hardest words to hear are the words that are the truth. Like finding out that the reason your relationship failed was because of you. Like hearing the words, " I just stopped loving you!" Those words are hard to hear especially when you had hope that maybe love was still there.  Then you start to want to hate that person that is causing you to feel like you failed. However, the truth is you don't hate them you are just in pain. You want them to feel what you feel so you tell them whatever you can to make them feel like you do, empty and small. I guess what I am learning from my journey of being heart broken is that it is okay to feel pain. It is okay to hear the truth and that God is with me. God is with me as I cry myself to sleep at night wondering when and where I messed up. God is with me as I fall on my knees, crying and asking him to please help me forgive her and forgive me.  I know that God's promise to me will come true.  Yet, I am struggling and I am in so much pain because I'm having a hard time with my reality. I am having a hard time accepting the truth. The truth is that it is over, that God wants me to love me now. I guess my message today is do not delay Gods truth. Listen carefully do not be fooled by what you want. Love sometimes just isn't enough and you need to know when to give up. So today, I gave up and am putting myself in God's hands praying that he helps me through this hard and dark moment in my life.

Anxiousness

It has been a few months full of worry and anxiousness. I've been working hard on trusting God praying and meditating and trusting that everything will be okay. I remember that dark place I was in and remember how I never want to go back there again. I tell myself, God is in control. I tell myself God wants me to be happy and he will not let me fall. I have to trust him and give in. Yet, I have this over bearing feeling in my heart of anxiousness that is making it hard for me to breathe. I can hear his voice telling me to breathe. I can hear him telling me to trust him. In this time that we are now it is so hard especially if you are going through so many things like heart break and disappointment but we need to trust God. He will protect us. Every time we feel like we're losing hope talk to him and let him know how you feel he will listen. Let's stay strong and if you feel like me, know that I am praying for you and that we are not alone even if it feels like it.