Letting Go

 One of the hardest things to do is to let go. Letting go of someone or something you love. It is the worst feeling in the world. Feels like your heart is getting ripped into a million pieces but you need to learn when to say goodbye. You need to learn when it's time to finally give up and move forward even if it hurts with all your soul. I loved someone so much it broke me. I gave her opportunity after opportunity to show me that she cared about me but she showed me that she cared more about herself.  So now, it is time for me to learn to love myself as much as I loved her. You are the most important person to love. You are the most important person that you have to care for. People will come and go in your life but you will always be there for yourself. You have to let go of those that especially hurt you. To much pain causes you to lose your self-worth. It is so, so hard but essential to your healing. I  am in a journey of healing and learning that it is okay to to let go. So today, I did something. I went to a reiki healing session and  I let go of the pain and hurt feelings that I have. I cut the ties I had with the person that I so loved and focused that energy on myself so that I can truly move on. I pray you can do the same and that you know you are not alone in your healing journey.

Challenges

 How many challenges can God give you before you snap? How many obstacles can you face before you give up? I wish I knew the answer. Lately,  I have been feeling like God is picking on me.  The challenges he is making me face seem so difficult. I try to keep faith. I try to keep a smile on my face but the truth is I am struggling. Everyday it feels like I am drowning.  I am barely keeping my head over water and just when I think I am safe, bam another thing hits me and tries to drown me.  Yet, I continue to fight because I am a warrior. Warriors do not give up even when the battle gets hard. One day I know this all will be worth it.

Life

Life can be so hard. One day you feel strong the next day you just want to stay in bed all day and eat ice-cream and cry. I have those days where I just want to sleep my life away. I have days where I don't know anymore why I even fight. Life is hard. You have to make a choice. You stay in that bed day after day or you get up and you fight. Fight not for anyone else but for yourself. I get on the treadmill and I run. I run so fast that my heart feels like it's going to pop out of my chest. I run hoping and praying that the hardships end. I can give you all this one advice. Life is always going to be hard. Life is always going to throw things at you that suck ass. You however, are in charge of what you want for yourself. Do you want to eat ice-cream all day in bed and cry? or do you want to fight the best fight?

Fight

 Sometimes you wake up and you wonder, “Is God picking on me?” You try to live life being kind and understanding, yet you’re the one who no one seems to understand. You listen, you are compassionate, you really care, yet it seems like you are the one always getting hurt. You wonder why do I always lose in this game of life. You wonder why do you get picked on by God. You ask yourself just for once can I get a break. For once can I win. The truth is life is hard and God chooses the strongest people for the hardest battles because he knows we can handle it. Yet, I am tired. I am tired of being the girl who everyone thinks is amazing yet everyone runs away from. I’m tired of doing things right to just end up hurt.  So I guess why I am trying to say is life is tough and you have a choice on who you become. You can be tired and bitter or tired and a fighter. I choose to keep on fighting until one day I win. 

Exhaustion

Sometimes you just get tired. Tired of fighting so hard. You get tired of life hitting you in the face over and over again. It is okay to be exhausted. I think most of are but we just keep on moving forward. We keep moving, hoping, praying, that one day this exhaustion will be over. I know I keep on hoping that one day I will be less tired. I keep praying that one day I can finally feel rested. It's okay to be exhausted. It's part of life, just don't give up.

Human

 Emotions are part of being human. You can't help having them. Sometimes you try very hard to block them because you are scared. Scared of being hurt and scared of seeming like you're too emotional, too needy, too much. The truth is that emotions make us human without them we simply would be robots. I guess I rather feel too much and get hurt than to feel nothing at all. 

Life

When I first began my journey and this blog I was full of pain and anger. I was so angry at God for ruining what I thought was my perfect life. I started this blog to tell my story. I started this blog to express my feelings and to share with strangers a little piece of advice on what life has taught me. I don't know who reads this but I hope that you can feel my emotions. I hope that whoever reads this sees that even when life knocks you down you can be victorious. Even when life throws challenges at you and the world wants you to change who you are, you don't have too. You can continue to be kind even to those who hurt you. Life is hard there is no doubt about that but we are strong. We can overcome everything even if you sometimes fall apart.