Exhaustion

Sometimes you just get tired. Tired of fighting so hard. You get tired of life hitting you in the face over and over again. It is okay to be exhausted. I think most of are but we just keep on moving forward. We keep moving, hoping, praying, that one day this exhaustion will be over. I know I keep on hoping that one day I will be less tired. I keep praying that one day I can finally feel rested. It's okay to be exhausted. It's part of life, just don't give up.

Chances

 Sometimes in life you take a chance. Something in your head tells you not to but your heart tells you do to it anyways. You take the chance and it doesn't work out. You're left with this feeling in your heart that feels like you should have just given up. But then you are reminded that this is life. Life is about chances. You will get heartbroken again and again and then one day, you will find that chance that was worth it. I choose to continue taking chances even though, I am scared. I choose to continue to taking chances until the right one finds its way to me. I am worthy and you are worthy of someone taking a chance on you like you take a chance on them. Everyone is this world has baggage that is hard to deal with. Everyone is a little broken. You just need to find that one broken person that is worth you taking a chance with. So, take a chance because you never know which one is worth it.

Time

 Healing takes time. It seems like just yesterday that I began my journey to loving me. There has been very hard days. Days where I do not want to get up from bed. There has been days where I wonder will I ever be happy again. I wonder how much time it will take for my heart to feel full again. Some days I wake up thinking today is the day that I will no longer grief. The truth is that I don't know how much time it will take to heal. But I do know that one day I will be happy again. I know that one day I will look back and see the purpose in pain. Time heals. 

Forgiveness

 For a very long time I was full of anger. I was angry with God. I was angry with my ex. I was angry at the world. I felt that life was being cruel with me and I did not understand why. I've always been loving, compassionate, and caring. I would say that I care too much about others sometimes more than I care for me. I held on to this anger and it was consuming me. It was eating me alive to have anger in my heart.  Until one day I woke up and said to myself , "It's over!" Until one day I heard a small faint voice telling me to forgive, to heal. I learned that forgiving is about healing. If you forgive it doesn't mean that the event didn't happen or that it wasn't horrible, it just means that you choose to move forward. So, I forgave. I forgave my ex for leaving me in a hospital bed when I needed her compassion. I forgave the world and asked for forgiveness from God for being angry. I can tell you that forgiving has brought me great peace in my heart, Forgiving has me waking up every morning feeling like I am in control now. So, my advice to all of you is to forgive for your own healing.

Healing

 Healing takes time and patience. It isn't easy to let go of your past especially when it haunts you.  There are days when I wake up feeling like I am still missing a part of me. There are days where I wonder what she is doing and if she is ok. But God tells me to let go of my past and to have courage to move on. God tells me to move forward forgiving myself for what I have done wrong. I am healing because I can admit my faults. I am healing because I have accepted my mistakes and am working hard in making sure I do not make them again. I am healing because I still love and believe in goodness. My message today is that in order to heal you must first forgive yourself. Love yourself for the broken and dark person you are and you will see your heart begin to heal.

Dating

Dating is so scary. I don't even know where to start. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find someone again. I wonder if God is listening to my prayers of what I want. God I ask, " Are you listening because you have send me some very unusual dates." Date 1, tells me I am too good for her. Date 2, tells me that I am weak after spending many days talking about life and making a connection. Date 3, just wasn't interested in me. It is hard to not feel like I am being picked on. But I am not losing hope. I can hear God saying, " Trust me she is coming." My message to you is to have patience and faith. In the meanwhile, I will keep working on myself in becoming stronger.