Time

 Healing takes time. It seems like just yesterday that I began my journey to loving me. There has been very hard days. Days where I do not want to get up from bed. There has been days where I wonder will I ever be happy again. I wonder how much time it will take for my heart to feel full again. Some days I wake up thinking today is the day that I will no longer grief. The truth is that I don't know how much time it will take to heal. But I do know that one day I will be happy again. I know that one day I will look back and see the purpose in pain. Time heals. 

Forgiveness

 For a very long time I was full of anger. I was angry with God. I was angry with my ex. I was angry at the world. I felt that life was being cruel with me and I did not understand why. I've always been loving, compassionate, and caring. I would say that I care too much about others sometimes more than I care for me. I held on to this anger and it was consuming me. It was eating me alive to have anger in my heart.  Until one day I woke up and said to myself , "It's over!" Until one day I heard a small faint voice telling me to forgive, to heal. I learned that forgiving is about healing. If you forgive it doesn't mean that the event didn't happen or that it wasn't horrible, it just means that you choose to move forward. So, I forgave. I forgave my ex for leaving me in a hospital bed when I needed her compassion. I forgave the world and asked for forgiveness from God for being angry. I can tell you that forgiving has brought me great peace in my heart, Forgiving has me waking up every morning feeling like I am in control now. So, my advice to all of you is to forgive for your own healing.