Life

Life can be so hard. One day you feel strong the next day you just want to stay in bed all day and eat ice-cream and cry. I have those days where I just want to sleep my life away. I have days where I don't know anymore why I even fight. Life is hard. You have to make a choice. You stay in that bed day after day or you get up and you fight. Fight not for anyone else but for yourself. I get on the treadmill and I run. I run so fast that my heart feels like it's going to pop out of my chest. I run hoping and praying that the hardships end. I can give you all this one advice. Life is always going to be hard. Life is always going to throw things at you that suck ass. You however, are in charge of what you want for yourself. Do you want to eat ice-cream all day in bed and cry? or do you want to fight the best fight?

Exhaustion

Sometimes you just get tired. Tired of fighting so hard. You get tired of life hitting you in the face over and over again. It is okay to be exhausted. I think most of are but we just keep on moving forward. We keep moving, hoping, praying, that one day this exhaustion will be over. I know I keep on hoping that one day I will be less tired. I keep praying that one day I can finally feel rested. It's okay to be exhausted. It's part of life, just don't give up.

Life

When I first began my journey and this blog I was full of pain and anger. I was so angry at God for ruining what I thought was my perfect life. I started this blog to tell my story. I started this blog to express my feelings and to share with strangers a little piece of advice on what life has taught me. I don't know who reads this but I hope that you can feel my emotions. I hope that whoever reads this sees that even when life knocks you down you can be victorious. Even when life throws challenges at you and the world wants you to change who you are, you don't have too. You can continue to be kind even to those who hurt you. Life is hard there is no doubt about that but we are strong. We can overcome everything even if you sometimes fall apart.

Forgiveness

 For a very long time I was full of anger. I was angry with God. I was angry with my ex. I was angry at the world. I felt that life was being cruel with me and I did not understand why. I've always been loving, compassionate, and caring. I would say that I care too much about others sometimes more than I care for me. I held on to this anger and it was consuming me. It was eating me alive to have anger in my heart.  Until one day I woke up and said to myself , "It's over!" Until one day I heard a small faint voice telling me to forgive, to heal. I learned that forgiving is about healing. If you forgive it doesn't mean that the event didn't happen or that it wasn't horrible, it just means that you choose to move forward. So, I forgave. I forgave my ex for leaving me in a hospital bed when I needed her compassion. I forgave the world and asked for forgiveness from God for being angry. I can tell you that forgiving has brought me great peace in my heart, Forgiving has me waking up every morning feeling like I am in control now. So, my advice to all of you is to forgive for your own healing.

Amazing

 Life is full of moments. Moments that we have to cherish and live in. Regret often times creeps in when you start to think too much about life. What is life? Why are we in this world? All these questions are valid but what purpose do they serve. Maybe sometimes you need to not think and feel with your heart instead and live in a moment.  You are amazing but....I want something different. You did nothing wrong, you are amazing. Those are the words told to me by someone that I thought I could possibly build a connection with. Want to know what I think? I think that people are afraid of amazing. I think that people are afraid of humans like me who see the good in the evil, who feel passion without thinking, who believe that they have a purpose. How do you know that you don't want amazing in your life when you aren't willing to give it a chance. I guess that my advice for today is don't be afraid of amazing. 

Scared

 It has been a year. A year of growing and learning. A year of trying to figure out life.  I never thought that I would be here again. I never thought that I could possibly be connecting to other people. I never thought that I could erase your memory from my heart. I thought that this feeling of pain would last forever. I thought that I would be mourning your loss forever. I started dating and I am scared. Scared that I will have bad judgement.  I am scared of putting my light out there for someone else to see.  I am scared of being broken again. But this is life. Life is connecting with others souls and seeing which one will be brave enough, strong enough, and determined enough to stick around your broken self. This world is full of broken people and we are all just trying to feel loved.