Human

 Emotions are part of being human. You can't help having them. Sometimes you try very hard to block them because you are scared. Scared of being hurt and scared of seeming like you're too emotional, too needy, too much. The truth is that emotions make us human without them we simply would be robots. I guess I rather feel too much and get hurt than to feel nothing at all. 

Guilt

The hard part about breakups is the guilt that comes from both sides. One side always feels like they are the victim and one side always gets hurt more. I truly believe that when you love someone with all your heart and soul you would do anything for them even sacrifice your own self like what God did with his son Jesus. So, the story behind my break up is that I was the person willing to give up my own happiness to make my partner happy. I wanted nothing more than to be that happiness but I was broken and needed compassion and understanding. Instead I woke up to a harsh reality. I woke up to the realization that the person I loved with all my soul and heart did not love me back. I woke up to a crumbled world. So, yes I feel more broken and hurt and yes I do feel like the victim but I do not feel any guilt because I know I did everything I could to show compassion. Did I lose it at the end? Do I have some fault in this break up? The answer is yes. Yes, I messed up! Yes I was mean! And yes I am still hurt but the difference is I know now God has amazing plans for me. I know that through this pain I will grow into an amazing warrior. And despite all the pain I was caused I still believe in love. I still believe that one day she will see what I see. Broken people deserve compassion, respect, and true love, not someone who runs away when things get hard.