When Anxiety Attacks

Have you ever had an anxiety attack? Well let me tell you that I hadn't had one in a long time and the last time that I did I was with my partner and she was the only one that was able to calm me down by squeezing me tight. So today, when all of the sudden I was hit by this overwhelming emotion I panicked not knowing what to do. The thing about anxiety attacks is you never know when you will get them or why. Anything can trigger them. Let me paint you a picture of what they feel like. Imagine feeling like you are in a dark room, alone, you cannot breathe, and when you try to call for help no one comes. Your whole body begins to shake and in the blink of an eye you no longer are yourself. You try to control it, to tell yourself that it is fear, but it is hard to snap out of it alone.  You roll yourself in a ball and breathe so hard it feels like you are going to lose your heart.  After you snap out of it you are often left angry at yourself for allowing this feeling to over come you. At least I was. I asked myself, " How could you allow this knowing you have God? I yelled at myself saying, " Look at how weak you are!" The reality is that we all have our moments of weakness and it is what we decide to do that makes the big difference. I could have kept yelling at myself and feeling sorry for myself but instead I decided to kick anxiety in the face by praying and going on a run.  I prayed to God to remind the devil that he has cannot beat me because my God is powerful. I went on a run to remind myself that I am strong. I ran so fast that I felt the wind whisper to me that everything would be ok. Life is hard and sometimes we are weak and that is ok.