I'm Back

"My heart is broken but I am back. I made some mistakes but I am back. I am not perfect but I am back." These are the phrases that Pastor Steven yelled in my car today, as I drove to work today. These phrases hit home for me because I could relate to every single one of them.  I was in a dark place and I thought there was no coming back from that, but God rescued me. I choose to come back to him and take my seat at his table.  I choose to get up from my failures and mistakes and to move forward. Although, I am broken God is healing me every day of my life. If he accepted me being a mess believe that he will accept you too. Today my message is simple. All I want to tell you  is to open up your hearts to God and he will let the light in and he will fulfill your promises. I leave you with Pastor Steven's words today......


"When the Enemy comes with his accusations
and his excuses, I want you to look him square
in the eye, before the year even gets started
well, and tell him, "Devil, this seat is taken.
No room for you to run my life, because I
am seated in heavenly places with Christ."

My sister and brothers do you want to be free? Then believe that God will make things better and accept him in your life. He is waiting for you with open hands and an open heart.

Shame

For many years, I walked this life full of shame. The shame was so much that I filled myself with darkness and lost the light that was within me. I felt shame because I never believed that I was worthy enough of love because I felt that I was not good enough. The shame bounded me and chained me. My light was covered and the devil felt great happiness to see me this way. He was filled with joy but little did he know that I would soon be set free and my light would shine brighter than ever. Today my message came through my morning worship at Hillsong. The message from God was so beautiful that I could not contain myself to share with you. God said to me this morning, “ You are worthy. You are strong. You are forgiven.” He yelled loud and clear to me , “Shame does not define what you deserve, instead my grace defines you, and I have forgiven you.” My message to you is do not settle for scraps. The savior of the world is at the table waiting for you so open up your arms and soul to let him help you shine your light. I have lived in shame for too long and those days are now gone. The days of scrap are over and I know God will give me a life full of abundance. So my brothers and sister there is no shame in your game remember those words. Remember that you are worthy, you are strong, and you are forgiven.

New Orleans

I have been working on myself for these past days. Listening carefully to God and waiting patiently and with faith. God has been showing me how a smile can change the world and how if I let things go I can be happier trusting that he will be there with me. I went back to New Orleans the city of what many call "sin". I was proud of myself because even though I was tempted to lose control I did not instead I remembered how this place had helped me learn that I wanted to serve people. It is in New Orleans that my passion for helping others began to develop. The people there smiling and making the best out of everything bad that happened to them made me want to be someone who helped make the change.

I want to leave you guys with this video I made when I first went to New Orleans.

https://www.facebook.com/jacky.orellana.3/videos/570905882941929/

Waiting

Yesterday, instead of having my usual night of going out and hanging out with friends at a bar, I decided to go to a Saturday night bible study group. I was nervous at first thinking what if I do not fit in and if I don't like this group but God told me to give it a chance and I listened. Turned out to be the complete opposite of what I thought. Instead I loved the group and felt like I could relate to every single person in that room. We all were different ages, ethnicities, yet we all were there for God. The message I got to share with you all is about waiting.

Waiting is hard and no one likes it for many reasons. One, waiting means having patience and two, waiting means not knowing the end result. However, Gods promises come to those who wait. He loves us and makes us wait because it builds our character and makes us stronger. He knows the end result and if he makes a promise to us we have to have hope and wait in the light. With God in our life, having hope will lead to us never feeling shame. Sometimes people will shame you for having hope or make you think/feel like you are crazy but you hold on strong to that hope because God does not lie. So I leave you with this verse of the bible and with the message that while you wait rejoice and work on yourself. Be strong God has wonders planned for you.

Roman 5:1-11

Peace with God Through Faith

1Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we^a have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2Through him we have also obtained access by faith^b into this grace in which we stand, and we^c rejoice^d in hope of the glory of God. 3Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Valentine's Day

Today would have marked our 7 year anniversary. 7 years of what I thought was a great relationship. Yes it was rough at times but I really believed that we could conquer it all. I really believed that what we had was true love. Today I woke up and prayed really hard to God. I said , " God make this pain go away. Help me continue to be strong and help me move on." I put on my best smile and my Valentine Day outfit and headed to work full of love and peace.

 It is hard to move on when you have God in your head telling you to have faith. I say to him faith in what it is obvious that this is done. It is finished the battle we fought is over and I lost. I tell God to just let me move forward with a heart that forgives but no longer yearns her love.  So my message to you is , " Love hurts a lot but never give up hope that one day you will find the right person that wants to be with you no matter what. God put me with her for 6 years and I do not regret anything we did and I will never forget the happy memories we shared; like her bringing a dog balloon to my job and me smiling so hard. God knows why he did this and I trust him and even though my heart is scattered and broken into a million pieces I know that it will heal and love again. I will love again and this time I will have God in my life so I know I will be happy. Happy Valentine Day to everyone and remember love yourself with all your might and God loves you no matter what.

Hard

Hard

It is hard having faith
When you feel so much pain
It is hard to obey when you feel so betrayed
It is hard to smile and put on your pretty face
When your whole world  seems to have crumbled
But then that voice comes back to you and says , "Look how far you've come, look how strong you are!"
The voice tells you everything is going to be just fine
You breathe, close your eyes, and simply sit back and smile

Dream

Little girl, in a big world. When I was in college, my dream was to be an agent of change. I knew that this world was full of hate but I dreamed that me, a little girl who was only 4'10 could change the world for the better.  I wanted to spread happiness and joy through being a person who believed things could be different. I was proud that this was my dream and I navigated the world truly believing that I would make a difference. 

However, as my life went on people and the world seem to get harder and my dream seemed to be impossible.  I was laughed at by many and I was brought down by many and instead of being strong and believing that my dream was possible, I started to hate my dream. I started to conform to what people would say, "You aren't good enough, you will never be able to do that." I then started becoming like them destroying others dreams. I didn't realize till God pulled me out of the darkness that this dream is still alive in my heart. God put me in the perfect position to be a change. Today when I heard Pastor Steven's words I realized that my dream is still the same just happening a little bit different than I expected. He made me see that as a teacher, I am achieving this dream of changing the world for a better place through my children. I get to come to work everyday and influence how they see this world. I get to come to work and give my students love and make them believe that they can do anything. So today, I realized that God gives us a dream because it is possible to achieve. I realized that with Gods guidance and with faith in him you can be a little girl in a big world making a difference. God gave me this dream and I will hold on to it and believe even if no one else believes with me. I will spread love through paint, glue, and glitter because that is what my calling is. I hope that all of you who have a dream never give up and have faith that God will help you and put you in the right place to achieve your dream; you just need to have faith and listen.  So I leave you with my video.